The Prettiest of them all
by soulstress
Summary: When Jean and Pietro argue about which one of them is prettier, Proffesor X steps in and forces them to wrestle out the differences. Weird? hell yeah!COMPLETE! i added the fight enjoy!
1. This is how bad stuff always starts

Disclaimer: I had a really cool and witty disclaimer but some shit ran off with it grr!!!! The suits at marvel own it all!  
  
This is just some randomness that popped into my head and had to be written, the actual fight is lying around somewhere when I find it ill stick that up too.  
  
On with the madness-  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
' You know chuck,' said Logan as he stared out of a window in the mansion, ' I'm all for breaking down barriers and getting along but don't you think this is going a bit too far?'  
  
"I don't know what you mean Logan, what could go wrong with a simple friendly picnic?"  
  
For an answer, a loud explosion rocked the institute, and Logon resigned to his fate sighed and led the Prof. Outside so he could see exactly what was going on.  
  
It wasn't pretty.  
  
Jean and Pietro were engaged in a violent hair pulling fight whilst the others crowded round them egging them on and placing bets on who was gonna win.  
  
"Let go"  
  
"No you let go"  
  
"GO! Jean go! That's my girl!"  
  
"Come on Petey pull her hair off already!"  
  
"Owww...you're pulling!"  
  
"Remy bet's 20 on the red-head"  
  
"No way," said Lance "My moneys on Pietro, I remember what happened the last time some one touched his hair."  
  
"Hey that wasn't funny yo!" said toad form over their shoulders. "It took me two days to get down from that tree – and that's only cos my pants finally ripped"  
  
"Ah-hem"  
  
The group turned round to see the Professor and Wolverine standing (in the prof's case sitting) right behind them, and neither of them looked very happy.  
  
"You kids done..." growled Wolverine "or do ya want me to finish it for ya?" He extended his claws slowly making sure everyone got the (very sharp) point.  
  
Jean and Pietro slowly detached themselves from each other, both clutching pieces of the others hair.  
  
"Pietro has more of red's hair you owe me 20"  
  
Gambit grumbled and handed over the 20 bucks to Lance whilst Jean and Pietro stood in the middle of the circle looking guilty.  
  
"Oooooooooh you're in trouble.." The smirk on Pietro's face was huge. "Professor he started it!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Puh-lease Grey, face it. I am waayyyyy prettier then you are. Just accept it and move on already"  
  
"Are not"  
  
"Are too"  
  
"Are not"  
  
"Are too"  
  
"Are not"  
  
"Are too"  
  
"Err...Chuck you wanna cut in any time soon this could go on for a while"  
  
"Jean – Pietro, after what happened with Apocalypse I would have thought you could overcome your differences now that you are on the same side. But as you have failed, I am forced to make you settle your differences in a more constructive form – you're going to wrestle."  
  
"WHAT!?!"  
  
"You cant make me" said Pietro snidely "you're not the boss of me"  
  
"No but your father is, and Magneto has ah kindly left all his charges under my command while he is gallivanting off to the Caribbean having the time of his life while I'm stuck here. I mean after all I've done you think I'd get a day off but nooooooo Magneto thinks he deserves to go on holidays full of hot women in bikini's while I get stuck with the psycho brats, a Cajun who has noting better to do then flirt all day and an idiot who burnt all my curtains because he thought it was funny....."  
  
"Did he call me psycho?" said Wanda  
  
"FIRE!!! GLORIOUS FIRE! Hahahahahahahaha"  
  
"What can I say Gambit has a certain quality which all the femmes cant seem to resist" he sent a big wink in Rogue's direction.  
  
"Oh please!" Rogue sent Remy one of her death glares  
  
"You know you want me chere"  
  
"Yah –six foot under"  
  
"...as if I didn't have enough to do already.."  
  
"er.. Chuck?"  
  
"I mean I have needs too but does anyone care? Nooooo. I mean what if I want booty?"  
  
"CHUCK!"  
  
"Ah-hem as I was saying Pietro, your father left me in charge and therefore you'll do as I say....unless you want me to tell Magneto who took his specially formulated $200 hair gel of course..."  
  
"Eeep!"  
  
"Good – Now seeing as we've got this new ring fitted we might as well put it to use. Jean, Pietro get suited up please."  
  
The two stalked off pushing each other as they went along.  
  
"The rest of you get snacks because this is going to Rock!"  
  
A moment of silence followed this statement as everyone stared at the Professor with open mouths.  
  
"Dude – you just totally stole my line?" said Lance  
  
"Oh please..its not like you own it"  
  
"well actually Professor..." started Kitty  
  
"Are we gonna get this show on the road or not? Anyone who isn't seated by that ring in under 1 minute will be subjected to Danger Room sessions with me, for the next week, at 3 in the morning. Got it?"  
  
((WHOOSH!)) {A/n nice sound effects huh?}  
  
"Heh, heh, heh" Wolverine chuckled to himself. "Always works, dumb ass kids as if I can be assed to get up that early"  
  
Fight will be posted when I find it. My first fic tell me what ya think! 


	2. Let the fight begin!

Disclaimer – jingles bells, Stan lee smells .......u know what's supposed to go here(  
  
I just wanna thank everyone for the nice reviews I have a very big grin on my face at the mo!  
  
As for childrenwithblades is pietro gay???? Conclusive evidence coming up ahead!!!  
  
***************************************************** Fight! Fight! Fight!  
  
"Welcome Ladies, Gentlemen and X-geeks to the first ever mutant wrestling match, where we will see a vicious battle take place right before our very eyes to determine the winner of the 'I'm the Prettiest' contest. Our contestants today are two of Bayvilles vainest people; Pietro Maximoff and Jean ' this is my real nose' Grey"  
  
"Were Lance and Kitty and we'll like, be commentating on the proceedings today! While the contestants are getting ready why don't we give you a rundown of the sitch...Lance?"  
  
"Well Kit-Kat, our contestants today are both very similar – vain, annoying, rich, snobby...."  
  
"HEY ALVERS THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND YOUR TALKING ABOUT!"  
  
"Shut it SumNERS, im commentating here! And here come the players themselves ..boys and girls, place your bets on who will be the prettiest of them all!" Lance paused for a second and then turned to kitty "were living in a sick world."  
  
"Oh yeah.."  
  
Pietro and Jean both entered the ring to a mixture of cheers and boos. They walked to the centre of the ring and faced off.  
  
"You're dead meat Maximoff – I've won every single beauty pageant since I was five I aint gonna lose now"  
  
"Face it Jeanie, your-too-much-of-a-slow-mo to do me any reaaalll damage"  
  
"Oh yea?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Oh yea?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Now kids remember this is supposed to be a constructive exercise" Hank was refereeing, something he was re-he-he-ally happy about. 'Something tells me I should have restocked my liquor stash. No good telepath stealin' it all....' "When I blow the whistle you may start. I want a good clean fight from both of you."  
  
[Insert whistle like sound here] {A/n what???}  
  
"Aaaaand...there off!" said Lance from his commentator seat.  
  
"Oooh! Quick move by Jean as she flips Pietro onto the floor. She's going for the pin already! She like, must totally want this title!"  
  
"But Pietro's up and running in a second, or millesecond? Err..whateva! Oh! That has gotta hurt. Multiple kicks up the ass by the speed deamon – Jean must be feeling humiliated by this!"  
  
"Nyeh! Nyeh! You cant catch me – cos im a badass mo – fo!"  
  
Pietro was creating a small whirlwind around Jean who was looking more and more pissed off.  
  
"Oh –well if I cant catch you then I guess im gonna have to settle for SLAMMING YOUR FACE INTO THE FLOOR REPEADTLY WITH MY TELEKNIESIS!"  
  
"Arrgh!" "Ow!" "That Hurts!" "Quit it" "You wait till I get my hands on....argh!" "Mommy"  
  
"Oooh kids look away cos he aint pretty no more! How is the self-proclaimed 'Gods Gift to Women' * cough * homo! * cough * gonna get outta this one???"  
  
"Hey Jean!" pietro choked out between body slams "You have..."  
  
BAMN! {a/N again with the nifty sound effects : s}  
  
"In your.."  
  
BAMN!  
  
"OW!...hair!"  
  
"What?? Where??" Jean whipped out a mirror and started checking her perfectly done tresses for stray articles, dropping her hold on Pietro in the process.  
  
"There's noting here Pietro!"  
  
"There is now!" Pietro had just dashed about 10 pieces of gum, all of which were just chewed at rapid speed into Jean hair.  
  
"ARRGH!!! I'm gonna kill you!" Jean lunged at Pietro so fast even he didn't have time to get out the way, within seconds she was grabbing his hair again and bashing his head repeatedly on the floor.  
  
"Not..OW! this..OW! again! OW!"  
  
"We'll their like, pulling hair out again"  
  
"Yawn!"  
  
"Well seeing as we like, have a few minutes, let's talk about what everyone really wants to know! Lance is Pietro really gay?"  
  
The crowd turned and looked at their commentators with interest.  
  
"Don't you dare Lance I swear I'll kill you!" Pietro screeched from the ring whilst smacking Jean's head on the floor.  
  
"Well.....Let's just say that the 'Sound of Music' is his favourite film, and the porn mags Toad found under his bed didn't exactly contain nude pictures of women..."  
  
"I KNEW IT!!" screeched Evan, who had fallen to the floor because he was laughing so hard.  
  
"Lance you fucker you're a dead man!"  
  
"Whats that 'Tro? I can't hear what you're saying your girly screaming is getting in the way!"  
  
Evan was still on the floor laughing "he, he , he so that's why he liked to play dress up so much when he was little! Hahahaha1"  
  
"I am Pietro Maximoff. NO-ONE TAKES THE PISS OUTTA ME!"  
  
In the next second, Evan, Jean Lance and Kity all hade a huuuuuuge case if 'wedgieritus' TM  
  
"Hahahaha..don't mess with this mo-fo cos I'll give you allll wedgies! Muahahahaha..."  
  
"Awwww..Kitty your wearing the underwear I bought ya!"  
  
"WHAATTT!?!?!?!" A very pissed looking Scott and Logan turned in his direction.  
  
".....cos er...you didn't have money to buy them yourself, of course. Ah-hem"  
  
"Nice save loverboy" Kitty giggled, "On with the commentary! It seems that dig at Pietro's ...uhm sexual orientation has totally pissed him off and now he's giving poor jean the smackdown!"  
  
"Literally!" laughed Lance as Pietro slung Jean over his knee and proceeded to smack her ass at super speed. "OOOOOHHH! she aint gonna be able to sit comfortably for weeks!"  
  
"Hey" it looks like some cheating is going on here as a totally pissed looking Scott has picked up a chair.."  
  
"...and that fuzzy dude is distracting the other fuzzy dude –the referee!"  
  
"Hey Pietro!"  
  
"Huh?" he turned his head round, but even he wasn't fast enough to get away.  
  
TWACK!!!  
  
"Oooooooooooooh!" the crowd and commentators said as one.  
  
"He he..look at all the pwetty starths" Pietro said before he fell flat on his face in the middle of the ring.  
  
By this time Kurt had stopped distracting Beast whilst Jean pinned Pietro.  
  
"1...2....3! Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner..miss Jean Grey!" Hank shouted as he raised one of Jean's hands in the air while she rubbed her sore ass with the other.  
  
"Well after like, a disgusting piece of cheating by Mr Scott 'everyone should follow rules and be home before 11" Summers, I guess Jean wins." Kitty paused for a second before she added a sarcastic "Yay!"  
  
"Well miss priss is about to collect her award as 'The prettiest'[. I see a loonnnnnnnnng self-appreciating speech coming up here"  
  
"Yawn!" Kitty interjected  
  
"Now what oh what could I do to pass the next few excruciatingly boring minutes"  
  
"Lance you wanna make out don't you?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Jean meanwhile was accepting her Tiara.  
  
"I wanna thank everyone, this is such an honour" –sob!- "I wanna thank mommy, and daddy and my surge –God! For making me so pretty......  
  
~END~  
Ah well theres the end of the fight, hope ya liked! Ciao! 


End file.
